A lot of stress has built up lately, and finally I’ve felt it all.  And then I said to myself, “I’m unhappy.”  Let me tell you, that never happens.  I don’t get the feeling often, practically ever.  I only noticed this because it felt unnatural, and I wasn’t sure what to do with the emotion at first.  A little bit of anxiety, a low feeling.  So then I asked myself, “When was the last time you’ve said that?  When was the last time you’ve actually been ‘unhappy’ for more than a brief moment?”  Because sometimes I get upset, everyone does, but life moves on.  People have it way worse off and who are you to be unhappy when you’re so privileged?   Think of all the good the day has brought you, think of how you woke up and you’re alive and healthy and you love life. 

So I explained all of that to my friend at dinner tonight, and I told her how it was strange that I can’t remember a time since around this point of last year that I was genuinely just upset with the world in an almost permanent state.  And she just looks at me and says, “Kiana.. you have the right to be unhappy.  You try to rationalize everything and you think you don’t deserve to have your days of unhappiness, when everyone does.  Your problem is that you’re too good of a person and even at your lowest points, you’re still not doing what you should be doing: focusing on yourself.  It’s okay to admit that you’re not happy.”

I never listen to anyone’s advice, but this actually made sense and struck a nerve in me.